It started before we had children. I watched several years in a row as Erin's sister flew into town a day or two before Christmas and stood in a ridiculously long line for an hour or more with other frantic parents and winy kids waiting to see jolly old St. Nick. She would stand close trying to hear what her daughter whispered in the old man's ear. She always worried that whatever the child asked for was the very thing she had already bought and wrapped.
I also observed children who wanted nothing to do with Santa, either because they were young and afraid or older and embarrassed, being forced to sit on a strangers lap so their eager parents could pay way too much money for an average quality photo. I realized that the window of accepting and believing in the big man in a red suit is actually quite small.
About this time I heard my Mother tell about how upset she was when a neighbor boy told me the truth about Santa. I don't remember the incident myself but apparently Mom was not happy.
Erin and I talked a lot with young parents and heard pros and cons of introducing your children to Santa. Most of what we heard happened to be cons. We heard stories of children afraid that some man was going to break into their house on Christmas Eve. We heard thoughts that said that enjoying these traditions was actually lying to your kids.
We didn't go so far as to think it was a big, fat, lie. There are ways to handle that when the time comes. What we decided was it was added stress. Christmas holds so much fun and so much magic. It seemed to us that adding Santa meant adding undo stress to an already jam packed month. So, we decided to skip it and instead make our Christmas focus one of giving and observing the Savior born in a manger. Yes, we know that we don't know the exact day that Jesus was born but we want to celebrate that he was, who he was, and take the opportunity to be thankful for the gift of a Savior from a loving God.
Now don't take this too far. We have chosen not to use Santa, The Easter Bunny, etc... in our family observations but we totally respect other families right to celebrate how they want. We do not think that observing Santa traditions makes you any less of a Christian.
We are not anti-Santa. At first we didn't take our little ones to see Santa but now if we are out somewhere where there is a Santa and we have time, we give our children the opportunity to talk with him if they so choose. We enjoy Santa movies. This time of year you may see one or all of us wearing our Santa hats. I like decorations that are Nativity in nature and our tree leans that way as well but I do have one Santa decoration in the house, a candle stick holder given to me in college by a dear friend.
If your children are friends with ours you do not have to worry about our kids, "spilling the beans". Each year we have a talk with them about how some families think it's fun to believe in Santa. We tell them that their friends may believe in him and that under no circumstances are they to tell another child that Santa isn't real. We don't want our kids to ruin the fun for yours. We respect your decision and we hope you will respect ours too.
After I published this, here are thoughts that Erin added. "I, personally, have wanted to avoid a situation where my kids discover that someone they believed gave them good gifts, knew when they were naughty/nice, yet never saw, was not real...at the same time I am attempting to teach them about the reality of a God they don't see, who gives good gifts, and who knows when they are naughty/nice. I have communicated with many atheists who see many similarities between the myth of Santa that every adult accepts as untrue and the "myth" of God that (from their vantage point) people naively still believe."
"I absolutely respect other families' decision to fully embrace the wonder of Santa Claus with their kids. It's definitely not a matter of judging anyone's parenting styles. It is just not something that Kelly and I wanted to do with our kids."
I remember when I found out the truth and asked my mom about it, I cried for a long time that day. I don't think we pushed the idea on our kids. We did play the game a little, but I can see how playing the game of Santa can mix up a child's mind.
ReplyDeleteYep...don't know if we told you, but we let the little girls in on the "secret" this year..Brooke kept asking. Kira was devestated to know Santa isn't the real deal. :( If I could do it over again, I would.
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