Why Our Family Opted out of Santa Claus

Some would wonder why a family would choose not to enjoy the fun and fantasy that Santa Claus adds to this time of year.  Erin and I like fantasy and fun.  We are both fans of Harry Potter after all.  We have chosen, however, to opt out of adding Santa Claus and his fanciful friends to our holiday celebrations.

It started before we had children.  I watched several years in a row as Erin's sister flew into town a day or two before Christmas and stood in a ridiculously long line for an hour or more with other frantic parents and winy kids waiting to see jolly old St. Nick.  She would stand close trying to hear what her daughter whispered in the old man's ear.  She always worried that whatever the child asked for was the very thing she had already bought and wrapped.

I also observed children who wanted nothing to do with Santa, either because they were young and afraid or older and embarrassed, being forced to sit on a strangers lap so their eager parents could pay way too much money for an average quality photo. I realized that the window of accepting and believing in the big man in a red suit is actually quite small.

About this time I heard my Mother tell about how upset she was when a neighbor boy told me the truth about Santa.  I don't remember the incident myself but apparently Mom was not happy.

Erin and I talked a lot with young parents and heard pros and cons of introducing your children to Santa.  Most of what we heard happened to be cons.  We heard stories of children afraid that some man was going to break into their house on Christmas Eve.  We heard thoughts that said that enjoying these traditions was actually lying to your kids.

We didn't go so far as to think it was a big, fat, lie.  There are ways to handle that when the time comes.  What we decided was it was added stress.  Christmas holds so much fun and so much magic.  It seemed to us that adding Santa meant adding undo stress to an already jam packed month.  So, we decided to skip it and instead make our Christmas focus one of giving and observing the Savior born in a manger.  Yes, we know that we don't know the exact day that Jesus was born but we want to celebrate that he was, who he was, and take the opportunity to be thankful for the gift of a Savior from a loving God.

Now don't take this too far.  We have chosen not to use Santa, The Easter Bunny, etc... in our family observations but we totally respect other families right to celebrate how they want.  We do not think that observing Santa traditions makes you any less of a Christian.

We are not anti-Santa.  At first we didn't take our little ones to see Santa but now if we are out somewhere where there is a Santa and we have time, we give our children the opportunity to talk with him if they so choose.  We enjoy Santa movies.  This time of year you may see one or all of us wearing our Santa hats.  I like decorations that are  Nativity in nature and our tree leans that way as well but I do have one Santa decoration in the house, a candle stick holder given to me in college by a dear friend.

If your children are friends with ours you do not have to worry about our kids, "spilling the beans".  Each year we have a talk with them about how some families think it's fun to believe in Santa.  We tell them that their friends may believe in him and that under no circumstances are they to tell another child that Santa isn't real.  We don't want our kids to ruin the fun for yours.  We respect your decision and we hope you will respect ours too.



After I published this, here are thoughts that Erin added.  "I, personally, have wanted to avoid a situation where my kids discover that someone they believed gave them good gifts, knew when they were naughty/nice, yet never saw, was not real...at the same time I am attempting to teach them about the reality of a God they don't see, who gives good gifts, and who knows when they are naughty/nice. I have communicated with many atheists who see many similarities between the myth of Santa that every adult accepts as untrue and the "myth" of God that (from their vantage point) people naively still believe." 


"I absolutely respect other families' decision to fully embrace the wonder of Santa Claus with their kids. It's definitely not a matter of judging anyone's parenting styles. It is just not something that Kelly and I wanted to do with our kids."

Chopped Walter Style! Season 1

My Brother, Sister, and I all enjoy cooking and we all enjoy watching Chopped on the food network.  My brother, Mark, recently did his own Chopped at home.  His wife gave him secret ingredients and he made it into dinner within a certain time limit.  That was the inspiration for this year's Thanksgiving weekend entertainment with my family.  We were limited on space and knew we would need more time than given on TV so we made it our own.

The Rules:
Each chef was given a specific course to cook.  Their spouse would be their sous chef.  Each chef would have an hour to cook and mystery ingredients were revealed a half hour before so the chef and sous chef could start thinking.  We didn't exactly know what Mom's pantry would hold so some of us did bring extra ingredients we thought we might want.  Each family would bring mystery ingredients for a certain course different then the one they would be cooking.

We made 8 plates for all the adults so all were "judges".  To make clean up easier paper plates were used.  Mom helped gather pantry ingredients and clean up.  We also video taped which made it a whole lot of fun as we did commentary on cooking techniques and "judged" the dishes.

Appetizer:
My sister, Kim, was the chef for the appetizer round.

And the mystery ingredients are: Chicken Leg Quarters, Red Onion, Pomegranate, and Texas Dinner Roll Dough.
Kim had never worked with pomegranate before.  It was interesting that we each got one stumper ingredient. It made it challenging and fun.

Kim and Jared boiled the chicken and started cleaning and cutting greens and the onion for a salad.

The bread was baked as dinner rolls then cut up to make croutons.  The pomegranate was made into a vinaigrette and we were served a lovely chicken salad.

The Croutons were crunchy, garlicky, delicious!  The "judges" were impressed that a boiled chicken salad could be so scrumptious.  The perfect beginning to our Chopped meal.

Entree:
My sister and I did NOT want to do entree so we passed that off to my brother.  He was glad to do it.
Chef Mark and his wife Deana took on the Entree round.

And the mystery ingredients are: Assorted Pork Chops, Eggplant, Oatmeal, and Tomato Soup.

Mark was hoping for pork chops so he was happy.  He had never worked with eggplant before but was really more stumped by the tomato soup.

Mark quickly marinated the pork chops in an assortment of things including red wine and garlic.  He grilled the chops while Deana went to work on the eggplant.

The oatmeal was ground and used to bread the egg plant.  The tomato soup was made into a mushroom sauced and ladled on the pork chops.

The result was moist and flavorful, even succulent pork with a side of crunchy breaded eggplant.  The "judges" were somewhat concerned about the sauce starting so late but it turned out very good.  One "judge" thought the sauce would have been better served with the eggplant but all in all the entree was superb.

Dessert:
I was the chef for the dessert round.

And the mystery ingredients are: Pineapple, Filo Dough, Honey, and Brie Cheese.

I had never worked with brie before and though I had an idea how to use it I wasn't sure how it would melt.  I had several ideas but decided to go with something I was a little more confident would work.  Erin cut up the pineapple and I started cutting the rind off the brie.

I used several layers of filo dough to make desert bundles filled with brie, pineapple, honey, lemon juice, and pecans.  They were tied with lemon rind strips.  Once removed from the oven the bundles were placed on a smear of chocolate and topped with glaze and more pecans.

The brie started melting out before the filo was as crisp as I would have liked it but it was still delicious.  One "judge" said that the chocolate really added to the dish.  Another "judge" commented that while the pineapple was good, this dish would have been even better with berries.

Our Chopped Walter Style was a very fun way to spend time together over the Thanksgiving holiday. We fed the kids their own meal and worked our "schedule" with breaks to take care of their needs.  We all chipped in caring for needs as they arose but also enjoyed adult time.  The commentary was a lot of fun as we tried to sound as much like Chopped judges as we knew how.  We hope in the future to have more seasons of our owns special version of Chopped.  A version where no one actually gets chopped but we all have a lot of fun and good food.

Our Christmas: A Preview

The last few of Christmases have been lean for us.  I looked in envy at parents who could "do it up big" for Christmas and watched the Meijer commercials about "giving more" with a little sadness.  This year we are able to give a little better to our kids and each other for Christmas but we know that the gifts are not the important part. I realize as I look around the house at neglected toys of Christmases past that my kids don't really need me to "do it up big" and that the excitement of that is not only expensive but momentary.  By the time my kids receive gifts from family and friends they really have had it pretty good.

This year we are doing Christmas gift buying for our children by theme.  They will each get four gifts and a stocking.  There will also be one bonus gift  for the three of them to share because it's something they all  want and I got a good deal on it.  We are debating a family gift also because The Lion King will be in town in January and it would be a wonderful experience to have together.  When you add all that up our Christmas will be more than plenty big enough.

Here are the categories for the four gifts:

Something you want:
I think that's pretty self explanatory.  I heard a friend at MOPS one year make the argument that we buy for our kids what we think is cool and don't always listen to what they really want.  Gift giving would be cheaper if we gave them only what they ask for.  I am trying hard to listen to my kids desires.  JR and JJ both have birthdays close to Christmas also so this is helping me be in tune for those events as well.
JD - I'm not sure yet but I'm leaning toward a wii game he enjoyed playing with some buddies this summer.   He is also really excited to get his savings account up to a certain amount so cash might be exciting to him.  If I ask he tells me he's still thinking about it.
JR - Wipe Out for the wii or Hot Wheels track (the kind that go on the wall).
JJ - A pillow pet.  Every time she sees one in the store she wants me to get it for her.

Something you need:
They need things anyway so why not.
JD - Extra winter gloves, probably a couple of pair since he always looses them.
JR - A heavy winter coat.  The one JD had is too thin for the colder temps here and does not have a hood.
JJ - I'm still keeping my eyes and ears open for what she might need.

Something to wear:
This sounds limited but it's really not.  It could be clothes of course but also jewelry, nail polish (when JJ is older) a purse or backpack, sunglasses, shoes,  hair pretties, socks, outerwear, etc...
JD - Ear buds for his MP3 player.
JR - Ear buds for his MP3 player.
JJ - A new hat, made by my sister's friend.  It will have a flower on it.  If you have Facebook check out   Blessed with Bows.  I believe she also has an Etsy sight.

Something to read:
Again, not as limiting as you might think.  A magazine subscription would be great as well as books or cookbooks.
JD - Diary of a Wimpy Kid  He has been reading and collecting these books all summer and is ready to read        the newest one.
JR - Skippyjon Jones  My kids love this little guy and the newest book came out in September.
JJ - Silverlicious  Last year she got the first three books of the series so I'm excited to get her number 4.

Please feel free to add ideas for the categories.  Let me know if you have a special way you buy gifts.  I'm excited to find items that fit each kid.  I think we will have them open them a category at a time and I may even get crazy and have each category be in it's own kind of wrapping.

A New Home Church

The lonely, sad days are much less frequent lately.  My last really bad week was back in August when I wrote about missing my Bristol Road Church family (here).  I still miss them a lot and the idea of forever being an out of state family member continues to hurt but I am healing and this is why.

I wanted to go to Women of Faith this year seeing how we live so close to one of the events, but I wanted to go with a group.  One of the ladies at the church we had been attending turned me to a group of ladies going from the Andover Christian Church.  When I called about tickets I also asked many questions about the church itself and checked out the website.

The Sunday after my August post we visited the church.  We walked in and were immediately greeted and taken on tour.  I finally felt like it was a place I could call home.  Erin was impressed at the way several ladies, and two in particular, took me in and made me feel welcomed.  We were invited to join a Small Group that very first day and met with them that evening.  We were excited to see the number of boys in the church that are the same ages as our boys.  Since then the boys have joined the children's choir and the Christmas play.  I have joined a weekday morning bible study and book club.  I am starting to build the same kind of relationships I had before.

Another thing that has made acceptance easier for me is that Erin brought home some exciting news.  His employer is looking to expand in some areas.  There is a good chance we will be able to relocate closer to "home" in the next 2-5 years. 

Because of these things I am feeling more at home here in Minnesota.  I even (reluctantly) declared residency by getting my drivers license and registering to vote.  I still miss a lot of people and the comfort of my old ways and routines and can not wait to visit during the Christmas season.  If you will be around we would love to meet up with you.

Little J's preschool: The letter "Tt"

The last three weeks have been busy.  We have worked on the letter T.  JJ has also been going to a Science Class on Tuesdays.

T is for Thanks: Psalm 136:1 Give Thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.

T is for truck and tires and tracks.

Using a toy truck to decorate the T with tire tracks.

We cut out the T to add to her alphabet wall.

T is for Tacos.

My littlest J and I love avocado.  She scooped out the flesh for our tacos.

JJ tore up the lettuce.  It was a little big for tacos but it worked.

She felt like big stuff browning the hamburger.

T is for toes.  We did toe touches and stood on tip toes.

T is for teddy bears, and tea and table and tea party and...  We ended T with a teddy bear "T" party.

Hosting a "T" party for three teddy bears.

Triangle Toast and rice krispie Treats with Tea to drink.

Exploring Minnesota: Hiking, Rock Climbing, Seeing....falls????

We are NOT camping people.  Oh, there are a lot of things about the camping experience we enjoy like cooking and eating over a campfire, hiking, enjoying time together as a family, sitting around the campfire talking and singing, and enjoying the world God created. There are several parts of camping though that we don't enjoy like hiking to the bathroom, setting up camp, living out of a suitcase in the cramped space of a tent, sleeping outdoors, disassembling camp.  Since we have no camping gear and do not wish to invest in such things for the little bit it would be used, we do not camp.

This fall I had the urge to do those camping things we enjoy so I was inspired to put together a day of camping.  My thought was that we would get up and head out, enjoy a day in nature cooking out and eating outside, hiking, exploring, etc... but come home for the sleeping part.  I asked some of our new friends for a good place to do this and the first thing we heard was "Taylors Falls".  So, that's where we went.  Interstate State Park is located there and it was a perfect spot.

I googled and collected ideas of fun things to do, planned meals, packed extra clothes for just in case, packed balls and books and found a Minnesota tree identification book at the library, and, and...oh, we didn't tell the kids.  That was part of the fun. 

Saturday morning Erin and I still slept in, well, mostly.  We got up and told the kids to get dressed because we were going somewhere.  JR was the first to ask where and I told him it was a secret.  He's a kid who needs a schedule, needs to know what's coming up next.  I hoped the secret destination wouldn't stress him out too much.  We told them to dress comfortable, in layers, and to add a hat.  That's all the information they got.

Our first stop was a bakery here in Brooklyn Park called Jack's.  Might as well start the day with a sweet treat eh?

The kids were excited to pick out a doughnut and share chocolate milk.  Erin and I needed the sugar and caffeine boost of a doughnut and coffee.  The kids asked if this was the secret place.  Nope!

It took us about an hour to get to the State Park.  We found a picnic area and the kids tossed around a ball.  We told them what some of our options for the day were.  We had looked into Geo-caching but we didn't have the right tools.  We watched some people canoe and thought about that.  We looked at a map of hiking trails.  We looked at some of the trees around and identified them. 

Erin cooked up hot dogs on our One Day Grill (it's a Walter family inside joke) that he received for Christmas.  We ate lunch and tossed a ball around some more.

The kids thought the treasure hunt that is Geo-caching sounded like fun.  We knew the cache should be near the trail so we headed out with our car's GPS.  We didn't end up finding the coordinates but we had a lot of fun hiking and rock climbing and seeing the beauty of God's creation.  We hiked rocky patches along the St. Croix River, and down in a ravine along a creek.  We saw lots of trees and occasionally stopped to rest and did leaf rubbings identifying the trees.  We talked about the world God made with our little ones.

The beauty we saw could not be captured by the camera but we tried to capture it in our minds.  The views were breathtaking along our walk.

When we reached Taylors Falls along our hike we saw that the "falls" are little more than some rapids where the river narrows.

After our hike we drove back over to the Taylors Falls area.  We had contemplated renting a canoe but at this point the parents were too worn out to row.  We looked into a boat tour of the river but we had planned on this being a low cost day and decided not to spend the extra money.  Instead we explored the potholes and climbed the rocks here in this part of the park.  My oldest did well climbing but those little two are wiggly and curious and sometimes leap without looking.  Climbing the rocks was a fun and visually stunning venture.  Most of the rocks we climbed led out to cliffs over the river giving gorgeous views,  but it made this Mama's heart flip and jump a little more than she could handle to have those little two climbing on there own.  We had to stop the climbing and move to safer ground.

On Sand Stone Bluffs trail, Erin had to help JJ down the steep stone steps.

Potholes full of murkey water.

The deepest of the potholes in the park is behind them.

Inside a pothole.  The walls are so smooth.

We had a picnic supper before leaving the park.  The kids all wanted to stay but we still had to do showers and such to get ready for church the next morning.  We didn't begin to explore the Wisconsin side of the park and we'd still like to do something on the water so maybe we'll be back.  The children would like that I think.

I had to get at least one picture of my big boy with his hat on backwards.

On the way home there was one more surprise stop.  It is fall and so we must have ice cream before the weather gets too cold.  We had hoped to stumble upon a privately owned ice cream shoppe but that was not to be.  Dairy Queen will do and so we did.

A sweet treat to begin, a sweet treat to end.  The Havens enjoyed their Secret Destination day.

Little J's preschool: The letter "Ll"

When teaching JD to write his letters I used a book that started with tall straight lines followed by the lowercase l and lowercase i.  Next came long straight lines followed by the letters T, L, I etc...  When it came time to do the alphabet with JJ, I decided to do it all together.  We are doing letter recognition, sound, and writing all at once.  She is 3.  I don't expect her to have great handwriting at this point but she might as well start learning a little at a time.  We are doing a lot of just figuring out the right way to hold the pencil.

We are also using Gold Medal's Alpha-Bakery Children's Cookbook while we explore the alphabet.

Our first letter: Ll


L is for Love: 1 John 4:7 "Let us LOVE one another for LOVE comes from God."

L is for Lace.

We taped lace over the L and she used a sponge to transfer ink over it leaving the image of the lace.

L is for Lamb.

L is for Lemon.

We made Lemon Squares

Patting the crust

Don't worry, she didn't zest the lemon by herself. :)

Learning to clean up.

L is for Laundry.

Said dryly, "I got my brother's underpants, ha ha very funny."

Making a lowercase l (yes, she knows it's lowercase.)

We also use the calendar to learn a lot of math.  Right now we are learning the days of the week, number recognition, counting, and introducing ordinal numbers.  As the year goes on we will concentrate more on months, seasons, patterns, and introducing addition and subtraction.